Onto Birthday Parties...

Christmas is over and now we are onto birthday parties!!! James will be 3 on January 6th and Becca will be 7 on January 7th (her golden birthday). I don't have babies anymore...it's so SAD!!! We are going to celebrate just us as a family on their actual birthdays and then each one will have their individual birthday party with family/friends and Becca will have an extra party for her and her friends. It is a busy month, but it is so wonderful celebrating my MIRACLES. Every year about this time I remember the words out of the Doctors mouths and the Geneticist's mouth "you should look into adoption or Donor eggs". Yep, that's what they said. Look at us now...we are celebrating birthdays. OMG...what would I do if we would have stopped trying...I wouldn't have these 2 beautiful children. Well, I'd better get off and keep planning these parties and maybe post some Christmas pics. Happy New Year to you all!!!!

Random O'Connor things

So, this past weekend Jason went up to Chicago for a meeting, and I stayed home with the kids. Friday night I took them to the mall, they love going there, so this was a treat. Becca loves eating at the Food Court, so we ate, rode the carousel, rode the escalator, saw Santa, and bought a couple of gifts. Quite an exciting night. Saturday we drove up to Gibson City and went to Strictly Kids to look for snow boots for Becca (I just can't pay $30 full price for a pair of boots that she will wear maybe 10 times). We ate lunch at McDonald's then came home to do some laundry, wrap some presents, etc. We went out for dinner at Culver's and ran to Rural King since we were out of dog food. Sunday we went to a Christmas party at the VFW. They had lunch and presents for the kids, so it was a fun/busy day. Went and visited my mom for a bit- she was down and out for the weekend with a flu bug (we think). Jason got home about 6:30 on Sunday, we went out for dinner with him and then home to put the kids to bed. This was one of the first weekends that I can remember that we had absolutely NOTHING to do...and man was it wonderful.

Today I went to Springfield with Mom for a followup. The Dr. said she can go back to work whenever she is ready...this was VERY exciting for her. I think she is planning on going back after the first of the year. Her job duties are going to have to change since she is not allowed to lift anything, and I hope they allow her to do this. We have to go back over on Friday to see the radiation oncologist so that they can go over radiation, what will happen, etc. She will do radiation here in Champaign, so that is a good thing. It will be about 6 weeks long, monday-friday, similar to what she did the last time. She is doing SO well, I am so impressed with her. She is an amazing person!!!

What is up with the kids...well Bradley is doing OK. He is doing OK in school...could be better, but you can't tell him anything. Becca is 6 going on 16. She drives me CRAZY most days, and her and I go round and round often. James is quite the talker. Nonstop talking all the time!!!

I go in on Thursday to have a mass looked at by the general surgeon...who knows maybe I will get surgery for Christmas!!! :) We'll see!!!

Not much else happening...sorry for the long delay in posts. :)

Busy Weekend

So, I got home on Thursday from Springfield, thanks to my Mom's wonderful Best Friend Becky Jane, who came over and stayed with mom. I worked Thursday and Friday, and then friday after work, we decided to take the kids to see "Where the wild things are", but James had a terrible cough so I left early with him. He was running a fever when we got home, so Jason called the Patient Advisory Nurse who said she thought what he had sounded like viral bronchitis, so we gave him some tylenol, corn syrup(for kids under 6 they can take that to help with the coughing), bought a humidifier for their room, and a cool bath. Becca and I ran over to the Assembly Hall to the Cris Cringle Craft Show and got a few presents for others and for ourselves, then we went to Steak-n-Shake for dinner, it was a good "girls" night out.

Saturday, Jason took James to the Dr. to have his ear looked at, it has been draining for over 10 days, even after 7 days of ear drops. He has infections in both ears, so he is now on oral antibiotics and 7 more days of ear drops. Poor baby!!!! I did NOTHING all day. I think I finally took a shower around 5pm, and then we went to McAllisters for dinner and a quick trip to Sam's. After that we came home and my Uncle and cousin came over and we played Band Hero for a couple of hours...it was a LOT of fun!!

Sunday, Jason and the kids went to CCD and James and I stayed home and started cleaning. I had 3 things on my list to get done: garage clean so the van will fit in it, van cleaned, and pictures of the kids at the park. We got 2 out of 3 done, so that's not too bad. The van can be cleaned out pretty easily...but I am ECSTATIC about the van fitting back in the garage!!!!! :) We then had dinner, got the kids showered and in bed, and are now relaxing in front of the TV and computer!!! Yeah!!! It was a productive day...and laundry even got done!! WOW!!!

Here are some pictures of the kids:



Heading back to Springfield tomorrow...hope everyone has a GREAT week!!!!

Home Sweet Home

Well, 3 weeks ago tonight we were coming over to Springfield for my Mom's surgery. Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks. We are in the home stretch...the Dr's are saying they are going to let her go home Thursday or Friday. I don't think I've seen such a big smile on her face as when they said that for a long time. She is SO ready to go home.

These 3 weeks have put a lot of things in perspective for me. When faced with a life/death situation (I know her situation wasn't necessarily life/death right now, but if she would have decided to do nothing...it would have been death), you really think about things and realize how some things are so important to you, while others that you thought were important, really aren't. My kids and Jason are the most important part of my life, I have missed being with them and seeing them everyday. My mom has to be the next most important thing. Before her surgery I kept thinking of all of the what-if's...what-if she dies, what-if she's not here to see her grandkids grow up, what-if the Dr's screw up, etc. I had a hard time of thinking about the "when this is over with and she's fine" details. I was scared, I cried, I screamed, I showed more emotion than I had in a long time. Has my mom's life changed? Oh yeah. Has she changed? No. She is still the most caring, loving, compassionate person I have ever met.

I wish I was able to stay home everyday with my kids. I wish I didn't have to work or that we made more money so that this could be a possibility. I love what I do and I love our participants, it just sucks to know that I only see my kids/family maybe 3-4 hours out of a day. I hate that!! I want to raise our children, and right now other people are. You can't make-up all that time you missed out on during the weekend...it's not possible. During these last 3 weeks, I have missed a lot of time with my kids. Do I regret my decision to be here with my mom...absolutely not...I would do it all again. We are just ready to go home, and be a family again!!!

Hopefully on thursday or friday we will be headed to: Home Sweet Home!!!

Mom's surgery

Wednesday, October 7th, had to have been the longest day of my life.

Katie and I didn't go to the hospital with my Mom and Kent, we showered and then headed over and got there about 6:00am. She was in the pre-op room already, so we just hung out in there and watched some TV while the Dr's came in to see her. They took her back at 7:30 and said they would call us with updates.

We went down to the surgical waiting room and waited for the first phone call. The nurse called at 8:30 and said that she was under, her body was prepped and they were starting the first part of the surgery. Dr. Johnson had told us the first part would be checking the lymph nodes in the groin and up near her kidney. If the nodes up near her kidney were cancerous he would cancel the surgery, that would have meant that the cancer had spread too much. We waited and waited on that phone call telling us if the surgery was continuing. About 10:30 the nurse called back and said that Dr. Johnson was almost done with his part: hysterectomy/vulvectomy. I asked about the lymph nodes and the nurse said that he had taken about 6 nodes out and all he knew was 1 was positive and 1 was negative. I asked where the positive one was and explained about how Dr. Johnson had said he would cancel the surgery if 1 was positive...he said it must all be good because he went ahead with surgery. That was the biggest relief of the day.

We got phone calls from the nurses every 2 hours for the rest of the day. Each of the Doctors except Dr. Johnson had come out after their part and said how well surgery was going and they were very pleased with how well she was handling it. About 5:00 the nurse called and said Dr. Johnson was finishing up and he thought he would be done by 6:30. Well, 6:30 came and went and then of course we went into panic mode again. At 7:30 (12 hours of surgery) Dr. Johnson came out and said "Divine intervention was on her side today, she did Great!!" I don't think he thought that the nodes around her kidneys had cancer in them, but I think it was in the back of his mind that they might. We then waited another 2 hours till they got her moved up to ICU, then we headed up there to tell her we loved her and we would see her in the morning. She was alert and shook her head after we each told her how great she did and that we loved her.

I always knew my mom was strong, and this proved how much!! I am so proud of her and SO glad that the cancer is out of her body and we are on the road to recovery. I love her SO much!!!

Life and how important it is...

When someone gets sick it makes you realize how short or how fast things can change in your life. The people that you care about the most can be gone in the blink of an eye. When my mom got the news that her cancer was back and the Doctors didn't call us back about her CT scan, all I could think of was, "Is this the last birthday my mom will be here for?", "Will she be here for Christmas?", etc. It scared me. I want her here for me and for my kids, is that selfish?? At times I feel very selfish...I want my mom, and I want her healthy, I want her to see my kids graduate from school, I want her here to see them get married, I want her here to see her great grandkids. Why am I being selfish??

I sit back and wonder what is she going through?? How hard is this going to be on her? Is she ever going to leave her house after she gets done with the surgery and heals? Will she feel comfortable emptying her bags out in public? My questions go on and on... I want her to be happy, healthy, and I want her to want to live. My Dad died before I was born, I was raised by my single mother. We lived with my Grandparents till I was 5, and then she bought her house (that she is still living in), we lived together for 3 years in our house till she married my step-dad. I feel that I got screwed...I never called my step-dad "Dad", he wasn't, my Dad was gone...I hated that. My mom is such a STRONG woman that I know she will get through all of this, she has gone through so much in her life...and it's not FAIR that she has to deal with all of this Cancer crap!!!

Why is cancer all around us? Why do we all know someone that has beat it, going through treatment, or has died because of it?? Why can't we predict the future?? I know a lot of these questions are open ended, and they don't have answers...I just wish someone could answer some of them!!! Hug, kiss and tell all of your loved ones that you LOVE them...you never know when you may not be able to say that again!! I love you all...my family and friends...I'm glad that I have you here in my life.

R.I.P Duh

When I was in college I got dog, and then I quit school, and started working at a Vet Clinic. Along with that came an abundance of animals. At 1 time I had 2 dogs (Kirby and Buddy) and 2 cats (Roscoe and Frisco). I was working at a group home also in Charleston at the same time I was working at the Vet Clinic, and a friend of mine was moving apartments and couldn't keep her cat..."Duh", and she asked me if he could live with me for a while till she was able to take him to her parents. Well, months later I moved back to Urbana, and "Duh" came with me along with my menagerie of other animals.

I didn't name him...but MAN I love his name...I love that cat...and I will miss him greatly!!! He lived about 4 years longer than any of the other cats we had, and he has enjoyed himself being the "only cat" for the last 4 years. The last few months he has tried "escaping" as much as he could. He would squeeze out our garage door and "hang out" outside. He NEVER did this before...so it was a bit weird. Oh well...whatever made him happy!!

So, now we are a "dog-only" family...weird!!! I don't know if we will stay this way, or if we will get another cat sometime...I guess time will tell!!!

R.I.P Duh...we love you!!!