Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

As you can see, my Mother's Day present was a new family picture. We started doing this last year, and I hope to do it every year. I enjoy seeing how much our family changes over the year. Since the last picture, Bradley has grown about a foot, Becca has lost MANY teeth, and James has gotten a haircut. There are many more differences too, but too many to list.

I did get to sleep in today, the house was quiet until 9:30...that's really late for us. Jason and James went to get the paper and some donuts, then we just lounged around the house all morning. We ran up to "Do-it-Best" and got annuals to plant out front and then went to lunch with my Sister and BIL and my MOM. After lunch Becca had a game, which was much better than the last 2 games we have played. Of course she got a off to Marble Slab we went, then home to plant flowers, take my MOM her present and then home to put kids in bed for the night...busy, busy day.

I have reflected some on the day, and thought I would share: When Jason and I got married I could not wait to start having babies, when I had my first miscarriage my doubts of having a family started to go downhill. Thankfully they did a D/C so that they could test chromosomes...this is something that they usually don't do for a first miscarriage, but our doctor asked if we wanted to and we said "I guess so". This was when we found out that the baby had a trisomy. They wanted to test Jason and I to find out if one of us was a carrier, so we did that, and found out that I have a balanced Robertsonian translocation of the 14/15 chromosomes. They also ran some tests and found out that I had PCOS (this is what Kate has from "Jon and Kate + 8), so getting pregnant and keeping the baby was going go be quite difficult for us. Talk about feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders...I thought we would never have kids because of "me"...and I hated that feeling. We got pregnant again, and had another miscarriage. In the middle of all of these miscarriages we changed insurance carriers, so I started going to Carle and that's when we got involved with the RE department. We got pregnant again and had another miscarriage. After a long talk with the RE and the Perinatologist we were quite frustrated and our hopes of having a family were going downhill...FAST. We decided to try AI, the next month we were able to try again. We started all of the meds/shots, and got pregnant with Rebecca. I don't think I have been as scared as I was those first 12-14 weeks of that pregancy. Because of all of the miscarriages we got to go in every 2 weeks for ultrasounds and at 17 weeks we got a Level 2 ultrasound...and at each of them she was growing the way she was suppose to. After that ultrasound we didn't have another until 32 weeks...that was a long 15 weeks, when you had been able to see her every 2 for so long. So we were blessed with Becca on 1/7/03.

During that whole time trying and trying to have a baby we started the adoption process because we thought for sure that we were never going to have a baby. I know, I know...once you adopt you will get pregnant...and guess worked for us (not that we were adopting only for that reason...I just wanted to be a MOM). Bradley came to live with us in June 2002 and was adopted May 28, 2003. And oh boy was he a handful!! 6 years old and a boy...what were we in for??!! NO...really he's a good kid...he just has his moments.

So...we decided we wanted to try again and got pregant on our own. Miscarriage. We then decided to do AI again, miscarriage. And we did AI again, miscarriage. Finally I said...enough is enough...this is going to have to be OUR FAMILY...the 4 of us. Well, that thought didn't last too long and I decided that I really did want to have 1 more. Since we did AI with Rebecca I knew the exact day that she was conceived...and that day was going to be coming up in my next we tried this time on our own...and got pregnant. We decided against doing all of the "medical" stuff, so no shots, no progesterone, no meds...if it was meant to be it would be OK. We were blessed again...with James on 1/6/07. After James was born...I had my tubes tied...and NOW we are a family of 5. It was a LONG road and one that I will never forget and I hope no one ever has to go through what we went through.

One thing that helps me deal with all of this is, that I have 6 girls and 1 boy up in heaven looking down on me and our family every day. I was blessed with the understanding that life sucks sometimes...but in the end...God has his reasons for everything, and no matter how hard it was or how much it hurt...God knew what he was doing...and he has made me cherish my kids and my family more than I would have without all of the issues we had to deal with. My dad died 2 months before I was born, and I know right now he is watching his 7 grandchildren up in heaven and that gives me the strength to go on everyday!!

Being a MOM is the best thing in the world and I owe it all to GOD!! Thank you!!

1 comment:

Jen said...

Beautiful and amazing story!