Birthdays and Birthdays...oh my!!

I can't believe my "baby" will be 2 in 1 week!! Wow, where does the time go?? James also has to be the cutest kid in the universe...I know I'm his mother and that's what I'm suppose to think. I never imagined 2 years ago that I could love another child (especially a boy...when I really wanted another girl) as much as I do. It is amazing how much your life changes and how wonderful it is. He is a completely different child than Becca ever was...he's all BOY!!
I can't believe my other "baby" will be 6 in 8 days!! Now that is one that is still unbelievable to me everyday!! Kindergarten...that word still makes me cry. She goes to school, goes to afterschool or youth club and comes home at 5:00 when we get home. She is away from me for 8-9 hours a day...isn't she suppose to be my "baby"?? Oh how kindergarten scares me when I think of that word and James...I will be a HUGE basketcase!!

We have 4 parties within a week...OMG...what was I doing, having 2 kids the first week of January!!!! Oh well, once we get these 2 done we are good till August!!!

Not enough!!

Do you ever feel that no matter what you do...it will never be enough?? Do you ever feel that even when you are trying to be "normal"...it's not enough?? Do you ever feel that you did all you could do and it wasn't enough??

UGH!!!! I am so tired of feeling this way when Jason's family comes. My issues are with Laura (sister in law) and her husband Andy (my cousin)...I know it's totally Jerry Springer like...but anyways...I tried my best to be totally "normal" today, I watched what I say, I thought it was a good day...but I still feel like it wasn't good enough. Maybe for them it won't be until I totally forget what happened with Laura/Andy...but I'm just not ready yet and I'm not sure I ever will be able to forgive and forget. L and A continue to lie about everything, I hear stories all the time about things that they say that I know just aren't true, etc, etc.

We have done nothing wrong to anyone, we just want to distance ourselves from some of the people in the family, and we get put in the dog house...how is that fair??? I love my in-laws...I do...I just wish they would realize that we aren't the "bad" people, we just don't want to be involved with people that are manipulative and lie. I believe that we do more than enough...I just don't thing others think so!! Sorry...just needed to vent!!!

Christmas is done, but the tree is still up

Bradley getting his DS

Becca and her DS

James and his train table

Well the O'Connors had a GREAT Christmas!! The kids got what they wanted and were very happy Christmas morning. Isn't that what it's all about?? I remember as a kid having that 1 thing in mind and not getting it...it was such a bummer!! I promised myself that I would always try to get my kids the one thing that they really wanted, that 1 thing that they tell Santa they want. So far...we have been able to do it. Bradley and Becca each got a DS and James got a train table. They were very excited. I didn't think I would be able to get James away from the trains long enough to open any more presents. We got up at 7 and open presents here and then went to my Mom's about 9 and opened presents over there. She cooks breakfast, so after presents we all ate together (this is a tradition that my grandma started...waffles, eggs, and sausage...YUMMY). My sister and her husband/step son left then and we hung out at Mom's for the rest of the day, ate dinner, played some card games, and then headed for home.
The next day the kids played with their toys all day. It was so cute...James woke up, got out of bed and ran to the train table saying "Play choo choo trains". We ended up getting out for a bit and ran to Target and got some Christmas decorations- half price and to Toys R Us, the kids had money to spend from Grandma Weber so we let them get a couple of DS games.


Dave and Melissa and Honey came down on Saturday (through the Thunderstorms and Tornadoes) to have Christmas with us. It was so much fun. The kids really enjoyed the visit and they LOVED their presents from them. We hung out, talked, played with the puppy and just had a really good time.
Sunday, Mom and I went shopping...literally ALL Day long. She was on a hunt for winter coats for the kids. She always has bought their coats, and usually buys them the year before when they are 50-60% off. We found 1 for James, and then had trouble finding one for Becca and Bradley. Finally we found them each a coat and headed for home.

The kids have had such a good time this holiday season. We did not travel around Christmas and the kids had a blast staying home and playing with their toys. Christmas night and Friday night Becca made a comment about "we are going to be home to play with our toys tomorrow?"-Yes...I think this will be our new tradition, at least for a few years. It is the best gift...to see your children's eyes light up, the smiles, etc when they get to "just play". Jason did "surprise" me with a necklace...for those of you that don't know...I hate surprises. This is the first time he has "truly" surprised me...in 12 years. My kitchen table that we ordered also came in the day after Christmas!! That was also a great present. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful family, my husband is the best, I am so lucky to have met him! My kids, although at times can be very difficult, are truly gifts from God. My mom is also a gift from God, I don't know how I got so lucky to have her as my Mom. My sister, brother in law, and step dad are people that would do anything for you at any time. I appreciate them and love them VERY much!! Sitting there watching the kids and my family open presents, I got tears in my eyes, because... the feeling of overall happiness over took me. I am blessed!!!

So, our tree is still up because Jason's parents are coming this afternoon to bring the kids their presents. Usually we take it down the day after, and sometime we even take it down Christmas night when the kids are in bed. I can't wait to take it down and get our living room back to "normal". We are having dinner tonight with the O'Connors, I know Jason's parents and Mark are coming down, not sure if Sarah is or not. We took all of their presents up there before Christmas because I thought they would just come down for the kids' birthdays and bring their Christmas presents then...I was wrong.

So...1 birthday party on the 3rd (Becca's kid party), James' is the 6th, Becca's is the 7th, and then we are having a family Birthday party on the 10th for both kids. I wanted to do separate birthday parties, but Becca wanted to share...I can't imagine this will happen too often so we are taking her up on it. Many more pictures to come...I'm sure. Have a wonderful week!!!

Merry (almost) Christmas!!

Well, it's almost here...I can't believe it. It hasn't felt like the holidays, and now in 2 1/2 hours Christmas will be here. WOW!! The kids are in bed...not asleep, but at least they are in there. Becca was ready to go about 6:00 tonight, she thought the sooner she got to bed the sooner Santa would be here. James doesn't really "get" the whole Santa thing, so the big kids are trying to explain it to him...he still doesn't get it. Oh well, next year he will. Bradley still "believes", or at least has Jason and I fooled that he does. When he first came to live with us I told him that once he stops believing Santa doesn't come anymore. Don't know if that has him hooked or what, but he still talks about him coming, the reindeer, what they ate before they started out tonight, etc., etc.

Since my last post, not a whole lot has happened. We took the kids to see Santa last Thursday night at the mall. No one was in line, we were in and out of the mall in about 7 minutes. Unbelievable!! We had Christmas over at my Mom's with the Wilson side of the family on Saturday. It was a lot of fun. It's nice to see all of my cousins/Aunts/Uncles that we don't see much anymore since my Grandma passed away. Guess what...Andy and Laura didn't show, imagine that!! They didn't have Andy's 2 kids, which is usually the reason they don't come around...I guess they think they can hide behind them and no one is going to cause any trouble. Oh well, it was nice and pleasant without them.

Monday night we did Christmas with Belinda and the girls. The kids had fun playing and they all enjoyed what they got from each other. Tuesday we were suppose to go up to Rantoul and have Christmas with my mom's best friend, but the weather put that trip on hold. We didn't do too much today, ran a couple of errands and came home and watched a movie on our new 46" TV...Jason's new toy. A couple of weeks ago, he called me to let me know that the TV wasn't working and he was going up to look for a new one. Of course he found one and purchased it...when we got home I sat down and turned on the old one...yes...turned on the old one. Supposedly it would not turn on, he called 2 repair people (of course the warranty on it expired 6 months ago) and he told them what it was doing and it was a power deflection board that they don't make anymore...OF COURSE!!! Well, we messed around with it all night and it would take numerous times to turn on, but it turned on each time. Something is wrong with it, it will probably go out someday...but now we have a new flat panel 46" TV...what more could you ask for?? I told him to take it back, he persuaded me otherwise..."someday the old one is going to go and I got a really good deal on this one...". So, we have a new TV...Merry Christmas Jason!!! The old one is down in the basement, so at least it is still getting used. On this same note, we bought a new kitchen table. This was suppose to be our Christmas present for each other, of course my first thought when the TV went out was...NO kitchen table. Jason and I had seen it when we went shopping for my mom's table (she didn't get one for christmas), up at Ashley Furniture, it has 4 chairs and a bench, so it can be pushed up against the wall when not in use. James is getting to be almost too big for the high chair we have, so when the table comes in we will move him to a booster at the table. YEAH!!! I can't wait for it to get here. Of course they said it should be here by the end of December...hopefully!!

I put Becca's invitations to her "kid" party in the mail today. We will go straight from Christmas to 2 birthday parties on the 3rd and the 10th. Once that is over...we can breathe again.

Well, I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Christmas!! I am sure I will have plenty of pictures to post later this week!! Merry Christmas

Weekly Update

So, this week has been pretty exciting at the O'Connor household...or at least it has been for us. :)

Monday, Jason and I went out looking for a kitchen table for my mom/stepdad. We went to most of the furniture stores in town and down to Tuscola to Kelsey's. We struck out for my mom, but found a table for us. Right now we have a small round table with 4 chairs in our kitchen and James is in a high chair. This won't last us for much longer, so we are looking at a table that has 4 chairs and a bench. We found one at Ashley that we really like, it's on sale, and much cheaper than we had thought they would be...who knows maybe Santa will bring it. :)

Tuesday and Wednesday were just normal days.

Thursday we worked and then picked up the kids, dropped James off at my Mom's and then came home and ate some quick pizza before taking the kids over to Ubben to play basketball with the Illini. Becca was really excited about this when I picked her up from afterschool, but by the time we got there her excitement was over taken with nervousness. They took the kids in the gym and the parents got to go upstairs and watch from the railings around the gym. Becca was a bit out of sorts. Bradley jumped right in and grabbed a ball and started shooting. He is not that "into" basketball, not sure he has even seen a game this year, so he just hung out and shot. Becca did enjoy the cheerleaders, and got her face painted and made Christmas cards with them. The "guys" were really good with the kids, especially Trent and Bubba. Mike T. really enjoyed "blocking" all of the kids' shots. After they got done playing they got all of their autographs on posters and a basketball we sent with Becca. I think Jason and I thought it was much cooler than the kids even understand. Maybe someday they will "get it"...or not...who knows.

Becca playin' ball with Rich Semrau

Bradly and Alex Legion

Friday we worked, I went and got my hair cut (a bit shorter than I wanted to, but it'll grow) and then got the kids and came home and went to work in the little kids' room. We took down the crib, took out the changing table and took the bunk beds apart. James is now sleeping in a "big boy" bed. Yeah!!! He really liked it when we took it apart and told him it was his new bed, however when it was time to lay down...he wasn't to sure. He cried for "more milk, door open, mom, etc" for about an hour and then fell asleep. He looks so little in his big boy bed. We thought since Becca is with my mom tonight and heading down to my grandma's tomorrow it would be a good weekend for him to do it and not keep her awake. Hopefully tomorrow night will go even better.

James going to bed

James snoozin' in his big boy bed

Saturday/Sunday- I have to work Saturday and then I am coming home and cleaning some more around the house. I only have 2 loads of laundry to do and then all of that is done...YEAH...but the rest of the house is a mess. Sunday morning we are going to get up and head down to my grandma's for Christmas with her. We are hoping to get out of town around 7:00 so we can get down there around 9:30 or so and we will probably head back around 5:00. It will be a long day in the car, but we will save $50.00 by not boarding the dogs.

So...that is our big, exciting week...told ya...it wasn't that exciting!!

Christmas party and Santa

So our weekend was pretty uneventful...imagine that...it is OUR life now a days.

Friday night I worked, we had Winter Ball at Lincoln Square for our participants, dancing, DJ, Food, what more could you ask for?? It seemed to go pretty well, with no problems. Saturday morning we took the kids to Lincoln Square so they could shop for Mom and Dad at the Crisis Nursery Holiday Shopping. The seemed to have a good time...I'm anxious to see if Becca can keep it a secret for the next 17 days!! After that we went to the VFW in Urbana for a Christmas Party. My stepdad is a member there and he works there part time, so it is something we have done for the last few years. They had lunch, santa, and presents for the kids, it was really a good time. After that we came home and rested before heading out for the Parade of Lights. I had to work or at least I think it was work...I had to ride on the trolley with some of our participants and Santa. Becca was walking the parade with her Daisy Girl Scout Troop, and she made it the whole way. We tried bundling everyone up so that they were as warm as possible. Becca did OK, Bradley complained that his feet were cold, and POOR James cried for most of the parade, he was miserable. We put snowpants on the 2 little ones, but James only has knit gloves, that aren't all that warm...but that's all we have. His poor fingers were so swollen and red when we got to my Mom's I thought we were going to have to take him to the ER. We played in the sink with some warm water and bubbles, I tried warming them in my hands, finally by the end of the night they were looking more "normal" and by this morning they looked fine.

We had a VERY busy Saturday. Sunday was more of our "normal" day...Church, CCD, lunch, naps, a little bit of shopping, dinner, baths, bed.

James in front of the tree


James and Santa (he's not scared of him...I just think he knows what to think of him)


Becca and Santa


All 3 with Santa...James still isn't too sure of him.

Well, our week looks pretty good. Not a whole lot going on. I have to work everyday and on Saturday, and then next Sunday we are driving down to my Grandma's house in Southern Illinois for a get together with that side of the family. I am so EXCITED about Christmas, I just wish I had all of my presents bought. I am getting closer...I know what I am getting my Great Aunt and my Grandma...I just don't have a clue about what to get my parents. We are running out of time to get a kitchen table...UGH!!!!!

Well, have a great week and stay WARM!!!!

Night at the North Pole

So, we took the kids tonight to Lincoln Square for "Night at the North Pole", that Carle put on. It was an OK night, the kids seemed to enjoy themselves, which was why we were there!! James did NOT like the "dressed up" people...they had a Gingerbread man and a person dressed up as the Salvation Army man with a really big head...he about jumped out of Jason's arms each time they got close to him. Poor baby!! He was OK with Santa though, which I thought was weird.

Becca having Dr. Tripathy give her doll a "check up"


James having the Dr. check out Mickey Mouse


The kids with Santa and Mrs. Claus


James with his Reindeer Antlers on.

Belinda and Grace met us over there, so we hung out with them till the end of the evening, then came home, put on pj's and put the kids to bed...Yeah!!!

I am still in shock that it is the 4th of December...21 days till Christmas!!! Wow!!! I have all of our shopping done, except for my parents and my grandma. We talked about all going in on a new kitchen table...but like I said we "talked"...nothing has yet to be done about it. My grandma is also a tough one to buy for...I'm still thinking about this, I have 9 days to figure something out, since we are going down to see her on the 14th. Hopefully something inspiring will come to me.

Still trying to figure out what we are going to do for Becca's birthday...she wants to have a kid party and go to Chuck E. Cheese. Since the closest one is in Bloomington...I don't think we will be taking a group of kids there on January 3rd...we have to come up with something BETTER!!! "But that's all I want to do", is her response when I say lets think of something else...we'll see.

Well, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...I have to work late friday night, we are having our Winter Ball at Lincoln Square, and then I have to work the Parade of Lights on Saturday. If I can get through 2 more weeks I am off for 2 weeks for Christmas...YEAH!!! If you want something to do...come out to downtown Champaign for the Parade, Becca is also walking in it for Daisy Girl Scouts...she is going to be whining the entire way because she is cold, tired, etc. I'm glad I will be riding with Santa in the trolley!!! Good night!!!

Thankmas with the O'Connors

So...we made it through the weekend...almost uneventful. For those of you reading this that don't know the whole story...I'll give you the short story...here we go:

3 years ago (this new years eve) my 27 year old, recently divorced, with 2 kids, alcoholic cousin "hooked up" with my 18 year old (still in high school) sister in law, in my basement at our new years eve party (Jason and I were NOT OK with any of this, by the way). 3 months later, during her Spring Break they went to the courthouse and got married, and hid it from both families. I had run into his ex-wife and she said "Congrats" to me...I didn't know what she was talking about, but she filled me in and I called Jason and told him, he called his parents...finally the truth (or what Laura wanted to tell) was out. She just had a baby 5 months ago...so now I have a new cousin or niece, or what is she really to me?? Over the last 3 years, it comes to our attention that not a whole lot of "truth" comes out of either of their mouths...they are both VERY manipulative, lie CONSTANTLY and make up stories about things that aren't even worth making up stories about. It has caused a HUGE problem with our relationship with Jason's family. So...much more underneath all of this...but you get the idea...

Well, Laura and I talked on the phone the week before "Thankmas", she had called to say "I'm sorry for hurting you". I said it was a nice gesture, but "I'm sorry" is not going to take away all of the crap that had been said/done for the last 3 years. At the beginning of this whole mess, we did not want our kids involved in this whole screwed up mess and I asked Laura not to say anything to either of our kids, however she totally disrespected me and one time with Bradley (he was 11 at the time), told him everything about them getting married, I about flipped out...I was VERY pissed off. Well, on the phone when she called she said "you were right, I was just telling Bradley because my mom told me I should tell him the truth"....to an 11 year old (that in all actuality has an intellectual understanding of probably an 8 or 9 year old if that)...COME ON...GET REAL. It was about a 45 minute conversation that did not end how she wanted, but at least I got to tell her how I feel (again), and we hung up. All of this "I'm sorry" crap started because we are not going up for Christmas this year. I am working/traveling for 6 weekends in a row and the weekend after Christmas is the only weekend we have NOTHING to do...we are staying home. I know they don't believe me, but I was planning on staying home WAY before they called to say that was the weekend they were doing xmas.

So...Saturday night we were up there and Melissa (sister in law) and I left with the 2 little ones to go back to their house, the kids were tired and I was ready to go, but everything seemed as OK as one could want with our backgrounds. Well, Jason went downstairs to talk to his other brother and Laura plopped her baby on Bradley's lap and said "Smile so Grandma can get a picture". I had already told her that I was not taking any pictures with her baby, but if Jason wanted to that JASON could. Laura and her mom TOTALLY disrespected me AGAIN. They didn't do it when I was there, they didn't ask for all grandkids to get a picture, there was NO need for this picture to be taken. I am SO PISSED off about this, it is so unbelievable. I hope that picture was worth everything to them, because I told Jason (and he agreed) that the bridges have burnt and there is NO rebuilding. They have never asked how we feel, they never ask when it's a good time for us (everything and all dates revolve around when Andy has his other 2 kids), they never ask about when Laura tells them something if it's the truth (Laura tells her mom that the Wilson side of the family is coming to their house...they were not invited to their house...come on...I AM ON THE WILSON SIDE). It always revolves around Laura. Jason is their first born, and he/we have been on the "shit" side for the last 3 years. I can count on my fingers how many times my kids have seen his parents...is it sad?...YES. I feel bad, but until they can respect me, understand my feelings, etc...we will have nothing more to do with them. She wants my kids to call their cousin Andy...Uncle Andy. She wants her "step" kids to call us Aunt and Uncle...we are their cousins...have been for their whole lives. She doesn't get how "Jerry Springer" this whole problem is...come on...doesn't this happen in Kentucky???

There is a lot more to this whole issue, but I don't think my fingers would hold up to type the whole thing. :) Just another bummer weekend that we both thought was actually OK until Bradley said that Aunt Laura made him hold the baby. The O'Connors want things back the way they were...it's not going to happen. Accept what is there and Respect our morals and values and how we want to raise our children and our feelings about the whole thing. It hasn't been done for 3 years...why start now?? It is a SAD situation...who knows how it will turn out...we'll see.