Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Home Sweet Home

Well, 3 weeks ago tonight we were coming over to Springfield for my Mom's surgery. Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks. We are in the home stretch...the Dr's are saying they are going to let her go home Thursday or Friday. I don't think I've seen such a big smile on her face as when they said that for a long time. She is SO ready to go home.

These 3 weeks have put a lot of things in perspective for me. When faced with a life/death situation (I know her situation wasn't necessarily life/death right now, but if she would have decided to do nothing...it would have been death), you really think about things and realize how some things are so important to you, while others that you thought were important, really aren't. My kids and Jason are the most important part of my life, I have missed being with them and seeing them everyday. My mom has to be the next most important thing. Before her surgery I kept thinking of all of the what-if's...what-if she dies, what-if she's not here to see her grandkids grow up, what-if the Dr's screw up, etc. I had a hard time of thinking about the "when this is over with and she's fine" details. I was scared, I cried, I screamed, I showed more emotion than I had in a long time. Has my mom's life changed? Oh yeah. Has she changed? No. She is still the most caring, loving, compassionate person I have ever met.

I wish I was able to stay home everyday with my kids. I wish I didn't have to work or that we made more money so that this could be a possibility. I love what I do and I love our participants, it just sucks to know that I only see my kids/family maybe 3-4 hours out of a day. I hate that!! I want to raise our children, and right now other people are. You can't make-up all that time you missed out on during the weekend...it's not possible. During these last 3 weeks, I have missed a lot of time with my kids. Do I regret my decision to be here with my mom...absolutely not...I would do it all again. We are just ready to go home, and be a family again!!!

Hopefully on thursday or friday we will be headed to: Home Sweet Home!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Mom's surgery

Wednesday, October 7th, had to have been the longest day of my life.

Katie and I didn't go to the hospital with my Mom and Kent, we showered and then headed over and got there about 6:00am. She was in the pre-op room already, so we just hung out in there and watched some TV while the Dr's came in to see her. They took her back at 7:30 and said they would call us with updates.

We went down to the surgical waiting room and waited for the first phone call. The nurse called at 8:30 and said that she was under, her body was prepped and they were starting the first part of the surgery. Dr. Johnson had told us the first part would be checking the lymph nodes in the groin and up near her kidney. If the nodes up near her kidney were cancerous he would cancel the surgery, that would have meant that the cancer had spread too much. We waited and waited on that phone call telling us if the surgery was continuing. About 10:30 the nurse called back and said that Dr. Johnson was almost done with his part: hysterectomy/vulvectomy. I asked about the lymph nodes and the nurse said that he had taken about 6 nodes out and all he knew was 1 was positive and 1 was negative. I asked where the positive one was and explained about how Dr. Johnson had said he would cancel the surgery if 1 was positive...he said it must all be good because he went ahead with surgery. That was the biggest relief of the day.

We got phone calls from the nurses every 2 hours for the rest of the day. Each of the Doctors except Dr. Johnson had come out after their part and said how well surgery was going and they were very pleased with how well she was handling it. About 5:00 the nurse called and said Dr. Johnson was finishing up and he thought he would be done by 6:30. Well, 6:30 came and went and then of course we went into panic mode again. At 7:30 (12 hours of surgery) Dr. Johnson came out and said "Divine intervention was on her side today, she did Great!!" I don't think he thought that the nodes around her kidneys had cancer in them, but I think it was in the back of his mind that they might. We then waited another 2 hours till they got her moved up to ICU, then we headed up there to tell her we loved her and we would see her in the morning. She was alert and shook her head after we each told her how great she did and that we loved her.

I always knew my mom was strong, and this proved how much!! I am so proud of her and SO glad that the cancer is out of her body and we are on the road to recovery. I love her SO much!!!