Well, 3 weeks ago tonight we were coming over to Springfield for my Mom's surgery. Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks. We are in the home stretch...the Dr's are saying they are going to let her go home Thursday or Friday. I don't think I've seen such a big smile on her face as when they said that for a long time. She is SO ready to go home.
These 3 weeks have put a lot of things in perspective for me. When faced with a life/death situation (I know her situation wasn't necessarily life/death right now, but if she would have decided to do nothing...it would have been death), you really think about things and realize how some things are so important to you, while others that you thought were important, really aren't. My kids and Jason are the most important part of my life, I have missed being with them and seeing them everyday. My mom has to be the next most important thing. Before her surgery I kept thinking of all of the what-if's...what-if she dies, what-if she's not here to see her grandkids grow up, what-if the Dr's screw up, etc. I had a hard time of thinking about the "when this is over with and she's fine" details. I was scared, I cried, I screamed, I showed more emotion than I had in a long time. Has my mom's life changed? Oh yeah. Has she changed? No. She is still the most caring, loving, compassionate person I have ever met.
I wish I was able to stay home everyday with my kids. I wish I didn't have to work or that we made more money so that this could be a possibility. I love what I do and I love our participants, it just sucks to know that I only see my kids/family maybe 3-4 hours out of a day. I hate that!! I want to raise our children, and right now other people are. You can't make-up all that time you missed out on during the weekend...it's not possible. During these last 3 weeks, I have missed a lot of time with my kids. Do I regret my decision to be here with my mom...absolutely not...I would do it all again. We are just ready to go home, and be a family again!!!
Hopefully on thursday or friday we will be headed to: Home Sweet Home!!!
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