So, we decided this morning to take a trip over to Decatur to the Scovill Zoo with the kids and my mom. We had never been to this zoo before, so we didn't know what to expect. It is quite a nice little zoo with some animals that we weren't expecting to see. Becca was more interested in the Lion shaped drinking fountain, the carousel, and the train...didn't care so much about the animals. Bradley seemed to enjoy himself, especially the carousel (he rode a turkey...I sometimes forget that he is only 12) and the cheetahs. James enjoyed all of the birds and was quite interested in the snakes...he could look them eye to eye, behind some thick glass!! If you haven't been over to this zoo, it is worth the 45 minute drive over. Here's a few pictures of the day:
James trying to pet the snake
Gee-ma and James on the train
James and Daddy on the carousel (it was a snake kind of day for James)
Becca on the dolphin...she was very excited about this!!
Bradley on the turkey...the biggest kid of all!
The kids feeding the goats...it was quite funny to watch
Just being cute!!
There is a big tortoise in the background over James' shoulder
All 3 on the train...they didn't last long all together on 1 seat.
So, that was our exciting end to the weekend!! The adults I think had as much fun as the kids...which is always good. Hope everyone else had a good weekend.
So after reading everyone's advice, I called the Dr's office yesterday and got an appointment for Friday...so that is where we are with that. I feel that it was a big jump for me, admitting to a "professional" that I don't feel quite right... I knew I was in trouble when she asked if I felt like hurting myself or others. So Jason and I both researched some on PCOS and what it can do to your body, and found some things out, but not a whole lot about how to treat it after child bearing years. Most of the research is done on how to get pregnant with PCOS, not what does it do to your body when you are done having kids. Anyways, it can cause some irritability, mood swings, and some depression related to self-image. Maybe this is the cause of some hormonal imbalances...who knows. I am hoping that my Dr. will know something about PCOS and not just push it to the side and just put me on meds. I don't want to mask the problem, I would love to know why this is happening and do the correct treatment. PCOS also can cause women to develop Type 2 diabetes by the time they are 44...maybe some of that is happening (I'm not 44 yet). Anyways...that is where we are, hopefully by next week sometime we will know what is going on and what my treatment will be. I just want to feel "good" and enjoy my family!!
OK, so I know in my last blog I talked about some difficulties we are having with my kids...now it's time to talk about me and difficulties I am having with myself.
I cry at the drop of a hat. When I get done reading everyone Else's blogs I am usually crying... they are either emotional entries, or of people being emotional, and usually those are because they are pregnant and it's "normal". I'm not pregnant nor will be any time in the future, but I can totally relate to them. I cry or feel like I could cry while watching TV, reading books, watching my kids do anything, etc. It is CRAZY or at least makes me feel crazy. I don't know if my hormones are screwed up or what, I don't necessarily feel sad, but there is something going on that is making me totally emotional. Here are a couple of reasons that I think it is going on:
Reason #1: My life seems pretty good, I have great kids, a great husband, a great family and friends, but something feels like it's not quite right. I can't put my finger on it, but I know it's there. Jason and I made a decision to not have any more kids after James was born and I had a tubal done. I always go back to this being "the reason". I know it was the right decision, we talked about it till we were blue in the face, and I was adamant that I would have the surgery and not him, but knowing that it is PERMANENT I think is my problem. Or at least that's what I'm blaming it on...but my question is...how do I get over it??
Reason #2: 10 months ago I left my job at DSC and I haven't been as happy at my new job as I was hoping to be. I left a lot of great memories, good friends, good coworkers, and a great boss...that is also playing with my mind quite a bit. A lot of times I want to just be home raising my family, however we aren't that fortunate to allow me to do this. I'm scared I am going to miss my kids growing up, miss some "firsts", miss them being kids, etc. This also puts me in a "funk" and I feel my emotions rise.
I don't know if there is something to my reasons or not...FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...I think it is OK to cry, but I would LOVE to know why!!!
Well, I just got back from taking James back to Convenient Care...he's fine by the way...mom and dad are just CRAZY!!!! or at least that's what I think the Dr.'s are thinking there. He has been REALLY fussy all week, if you aren't holding him he's screaming his head off. He hasn't eaten a whole lot this week, and the Dr.'s weren't concerned about his appetite as long as he was drinking fluids, but he lost over a pound and a half in 6 days...is this a concern?? They looked in his ears and did another strep test, but everything looked fine and came back negative...so we have no idea what is going on. We keep thinking (or hoping) maybe he is cutting teeth. If so, I wish they would just come in because it is totally wearing us out. Not sure when he is to cut his eye teeth (don't know if that is what they are called or not...those pointy ones). I keep seeing kids that look about his age and they have all 4 of those pointy ones...James has none. Hopefully in one of my next blogs I will be saying that he is a happy guy again...and he has some more teeth and that's all it was.
OK...on to the other kid in the house that is wearing us thin. I thought the terrible two's were over at 2. Becca is now 5 and she is still "terrible". Not really, but man she can throw the best temper tantrums, she is as stubborn as a mule (and no, she does not act just like her mom), and she acts just like a teenager. I thought we had another 8 years before we have to deal with some of the attitude that she is showing. Is this what it's like to raise a girl??? I keep hearing it doesn't get any better or any easier...what are we going to do???
Bradley is Bradley. 12 years old and knows it all. He is so much smarter than us, teaches us new things each day and has a mouth of a teenager. OMG!! He is doing really well at camp, which is really nice since when they have an issue over at his camp with behavior or anything else...it's me they call. I think that has scared him into just being good. He is also at the camp where he is one of the oldest there and he has always done better with the younger kids...they are more socially where he is, so as of right now it has been a good fit for him. At home he is still sneaking candy, which is really good on those braces, especially the starbursts, gum, and everything else that is sticky that he is not suppose to have, but still eats. He hates his braces, but doesn't understand that when you don't follow the Dr's orders, it will prolong his keeping them on. Maybe he'll get it...or maybe not and we will still be fighting the same battle in 2-3 years...we'll see.
We are trying to figure out what type of trip we want to take this summer...something cheap and close to home since everything costs so much now a days. I think we are going to go up to the Quad Cities where Bradley was born and spent the first 6 years of his life. We thought we would take him to some of the places we visited when we were going up there visiting him when he was in foster care, before we adopted him. They have a lot of stuff John Deere which he still enjoys looking at and I think James would like seeing it also. We are also going to try and catch up with his Case Worker at Catholic Charities, which might be kind of difficult since we don't know if she is still working there or not. So, this summer is going to be Bradley's trip...I don't think he remembers anything about Moline or Rock Island, but it will be cool to go back up and show him what we know, what we did, and some of the places that he went (his school, foster mom's house, the park where we played every weekend we were up there, the zoo we took him to, etc.). I'll let you know how it goes I'm sure and we will have to take the camera to capture all of it.
Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend...hopefully my next post will say that my youngest is feeling GREAT, my middle child has lost her attitude, and my oldest has stopped sneaking...I doubt it, but we can all wish right???
Father's Day weekend...and I didn't even get out the camera. I am such a bad person!!
Saturday James woke up from his 2nd nap (he usually only takes 1, if he takes that) with a fever. UGH!!! Jason took him up to convenient care and he was diagnosed with strep throat, again. He has had it 3 or 4 times in the last 3 months. I don't know where he is getting it, he is at a home daycare and he is the only 1 there besides her girls and they are fine, so the mystery has begun. I think I am going to try to call my doctor to see about getting Jason and I tested to see if we are carriers. While I was on-line I also read in many different places that your dog can be a carrier...I never heard of such a thing. However if Quincy is a carrier it would make more sense, he is eye level with James and he does give him lots of kisses. So I guess we will start with testing the humans in our house, and then move onto the 4 legged creatures. :)
Saturday night we went to my mom's to give my step-dad/Pa-pa his Father's day gift and hang out for a little while. We stayed much later than I wanted with a sick kid, but he just slept most of the evening/night. Sunday we woke up and Jason opened his father's day present from me...Jars of Clay tickets. He was very surprised and happy with them. We went for lunch and ice cream, did some shopping and came home before all the storms went through. We watched the end of the U.S. Open and tried our hardest to cheer for the underdog...that darn Tiger ruined that. Jason also opened his present from the kids, which was 1 of those Golden Tee Plug and Play games. Becca and him played it and I think she was kicking his you know what for most of their match...it was quite funny!!! I think Jason had a pretty good day, even with a sick kid!!
Hope all other Father's out there had a great day!!
OK, so I know all of you out there thought I was going to Disney for a vacation for work...boy were you wrong. Here is the run down of how our week in Florida was: The other staff and I show up at the airport to get ready for all of our participants, they aren't to be there for another 1/2 hour. However when we get there, 3 participants are already there. Then we get everyone checked in and ready to go through security...we are missing 1...what do we do...she finally showed up 5 minutes before boarding. We started with 15 total...will we get home with 15?? Can it get any worse??
Oh yes...the radio was out in the plane, so we sat in the airplane for a while waiting on them to get it fixed, watching our watches because we didn't have a lot of time in between flights. Our flight to Dallas was very bumpy...lots of turbulence, but everyone handled it pretty well. We got to Dallas and they had a bus there to take us over to our connecting flight...boy if they hadn't had done that, there was NO way we would have made our connecting flight. Still have 15. So, off we were to Orlando...can it get any worse??
We got to Orlando, on the Magical Express, and to our hotel...no problems. We went to get some lunch at the resort and got back and then left to go to Epcot. We were late for our reservations for dinner and they would not seat us till we were all there...the restaurant was at the back of the park, so it took us a LONG time to find it. We ate and then watched the fireworks and headed back to the resort. When we got back we found out one of the staffs' luggage didn't make it. Wait, hold on, it did... it was in the wrong room. 15 still. Can it get any worse??
Not going to go day to day, so YES it can get worse. Between the stress of flight, Japanese food, the heat, etc...we had to deal with some things that we did not plan on. That was a bit stressful on the whole group. Never mind that one of the participants didn't bring more than 2 outfits for the 7 day trip, or that 4 out of the 12 really needed wheelchairs (and there were only 3 staff), or that we ended up having to do laundry at the resort multiple nights, or that the heat was unbearable and not everyone was expecting it, or handled it very well, or that NO ONE took the extra drink at breakfast (bottled water) for later on in the day when they were thirsty, etc......However we still have 15.
I could go on and on. So, now we are heading back, we leave 1 carry on bag on the bench at the resort and have to call to see if it can meet us at the airport...it did...Thank goodness!!! We have to hover at Indy on our way to Chicago because there is a storm, our flight from Chicago to Champaign is postponed and changes gates, so we are all on our LAST nerve...but we made it. Still with 15 in tow.
Staff worked 16+ hour days for 7 days straight...dealing with things that were NOT pleasant...did we have fun...OF COURSE!!! You have to when you are at Disney, don't you?? But, it was definitely more than a VACATION!!! Will I do it again??? Give me a while and I will answer that question.
So, that was my week away from my family...Boy, I'm GLAD to be home!!!
Jason's brother Dave and his fiance Melissa, FINALLY got married. They asked Becca and Bradley to be in their wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and the bride was exquisite. We are very happy to finally have Melissa in the family. Becca thought it was so cool that Melissa's last name is now O'Connor. She kept saying "Now her name is the same as mine". It was cute!!! Isn't she a beautiful flower girl!!! She was so excited about making sure she dropped the flowers walking down the aisle. She did a great job and made sure they were placed perfectly...it took her a while to get down the aisle...the priest had to hurry her up.
Bradley was the Junior Groomsman and did a great job also. He didn't look like he had much fun in most of the pictures I have, but I think he did enjoy being a part of their special day.
And here we all are with the happy couple. James was done for the day and didn't want to be in any pictures...he definately woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He was terrible for the whole ceremony. Poor Jason missed the whole thing!! We had a great time at the wedding and the reception. The kids were for the most part good, which made it so much easier. We left the party early because I had to leave for Disney for work the next morning, and I had to be at the airport at 5:00 a.m. That will be a whole other post...it was not much of a vacation and I will leave it at that!!