OK, so I know in my last blog I talked about some difficulties we are having with my kids...now it's time to talk about me and difficulties I am having with myself.
I cry at the drop of a hat. When I get done reading everyone Else's blogs I am usually crying... they are either emotional entries, or of people being emotional, and usually those are because they are pregnant and it's "normal". I'm not pregnant nor will be any time in the future, but I can totally relate to them. I cry or feel like I could cry while watching TV, reading books, watching my kids do anything, etc. It is CRAZY or at least makes me feel crazy. I don't know if my hormones are screwed up or what, I don't necessarily feel sad, but there is something going on that is making me totally emotional. Here are a couple of reasons that I think it is going on:
Reason #1: My life seems pretty good, I have great kids, a great husband, a great family and friends, but something feels like it's not quite right. I can't put my finger on it, but I know it's there. Jason and I made a decision to not have any more kids after James was born and I had a tubal done. I always go back to this being "the reason". I know it was the right decision, we talked about it till we were blue in the face, and I was adamant that I would have the surgery and not him, but knowing that it is PERMANENT I think is my problem. Or at least that's what I'm blaming it on...but my question is...how do I get over it??
Reason #2: 10 months ago I left my job at DSC and I haven't been as happy at my new job as I was hoping to be. I left a lot of great memories, good friends, good coworkers, and a great boss...that is also playing with my mind quite a bit. A lot of times I want to just be home raising my family, however we aren't that fortunate to allow me to do this. I'm scared I am going to miss my kids growing up, miss some "firsts", miss them being kids, etc. This also puts me in a "funk" and I feel my emotions rise.
I don't know if there is something to my reasons or not...FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...I think it is OK to cry, but I would LOVE to know why!!!