Sunday, August 23, 2009

Back to the Why!!

So, my mom's cancer is back...why?? Why?? Why?? Why?? I just don't understand, the 1 person in the whole world that would give up everything she had for anyone in the world. How does this happen to that person? My mom is my best friend, and I am SO scared that something bad is going to happen to her. I don't know what to think, what to do, and what to say. Just...why??

We go this week for a CT scan and to meet 2/4 doctors that are going to do her surgery. She is going to have a VERY invasive surgery that will leave her without function of 2 bodily functions. She will have a colostomy bag and possibly a bag for urine, or a permenant catheter that she will have to clip/unclip when she needs to empty her bladder. Hopefully once the surgery is over they will have gotten enough "margin", but if not...she will have to do chemo. OMG!! Her surgery is suppose to be 10-12 hours, how do I sit in that hospital for that long?? She will be over in Springfield for probably 1-2 weeks recovering, how do I sit over there and watch her in pain?? Then when she comes home she will be home recovering for months, how do I help her?? What do I do??

Why does this have to be happening?? Why??


Carla said...

I am so sorry to hear of you momma's illness. I know how hard it is to think of losing a mom and watching one in pain. A couple of years ago, when my my mom almost died and was in the hospital for 3 months, I was a mess. Cherish every moment you get to spend with her. My mom drives me nuts, but I am SO glad she is alive to do it! :)
I hope treatment goes smoothly for her. I'll be thinking of you.

Chad N Anne said...

Kim, remember becoming a mom yourself and wishing you knew exactly what to do and when??? Being a daughter is the same thing! There is no guide, no rules, we just have to wing it and trust our instincts! You will now how to help her!

Thinking of you, your mom, and your family. I hope things go well for her with surgery and recovery.

Kim said...

Carla and Anne- Thank you so much for your have no idea how wonderful it is to read a comment and be filled with hope again. It will be a long few months ahead of us...but I know in my heart that she will be OK and we will have her here with us for a long time. Thanks again...I miss my DSC "family"...lots of wonderful people there I got the privilege of meeting and knowing!!!